Wednesday, August 31, 2011

First the hair, then the clothing

So last week I had a hair mishap before heading to the grocery. This week it was clothing. I actually remembered panties (yippee!) but I put on a favorite pink tank in the locker room only to find it was stained with a mystery substance. It's that stain that I know it's a stain but to others might appear that I'm just not capable of using a cup properly after thirty-odd years of practice. No, I don't know how it got there and I reserve the right to refuse that the idea that I do not, in fact, know how to use a cup after decades of practice is true.

Don't be jealous of my fabulous life.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Au Naturale

So this past week I got to the gym with my trusty bag filled with my items for a shower - a shower free of an audience of any kind. That's bliss, baby. So after my solo shower, I'm getting ready to head to the grocery store and find that I'm missing something. It appears that my daughter "helped" me unload my bag without my knowledge and removed my hairbrush. It was not my best hair day at the grocery store. Sadly it wasn't my worst, either.

Don't be jealous of my fabulous life.

Friday, August 19, 2011

The best laid plans

All day, I have planned out what chores need to be done and when. Meals, gym time, laundry, dishes, child maintenance (playing, bathing, benign neglect) and the like are all neatly scheduled to be completed by the time my husband comes home. This is done in hopes that he can have a happy few minutes with the kids before bed and so that we might be able to enjoy a few moments together before passing out ourselves about 10 p.m. So imagine my dismay and surprise when I get to the "dishes" portion of the day and open the dishwasher to put away clean dishes. Only the dishes are decidedly NOT clean. What on earth could be wrong with my brand spanking new dishwasher that would make it leave the dishes this dirty? I begin contemplating how to cash in on the manufacturer's warranty when suddenly I realize exactly what's wrong.

I never put soap in and turned the dishwasher on this morning.

Don't be jealous of my fabulous life.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Something I should be grateful for, but I'm not.

So I have another little blog over here. I should be thankful that while my daughter refused to nap today, she is in a perfectly pleasant mood. I am NOT. She is three and mommy still needs the sanity break time to watch crappy television off the DVR time to get stuff done. The least she could do is be a little monster by 5:45 and prove that she still needs the nap...

Don't be jealous of my fabulous life.

I got nothin'

Okay kids, I know I've been absent. We went on a wonderful vacation to the beach. I could tell you about how I was afraid to get on the scale at the gym this morning (it wasn't too bad, actually), but that is only because we ate so much amazing food that I didn't have to prepare. I could tell you how the entire family is sensitive skinned and therefore red and splotchy, but that's only because we had so much fun at the beautiful beach building sand castles and playing in the surf. I could tell you that I did laundry ON VACATION, but that was only because there was a washer and dryer in the condo and we only had one small load of laundry to do when we got home. I'm sure that this last week before school starts up again will bring the funny trials that I expect from daily life, but today I got nothin'. XOXO

Friday, August 5, 2011


It's 100 degrees in the shade on my back porch and we are leaving for an eagerly awaited vacation on Sunday. And my AC isn't working properly and every repair place is busy. Because it's 104 as a high today. And I can't be here for someone on Monday. BALLS.

Don't be jealous of my fabulous life.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

First, second, third, fourth...

We are going on vacation next week and that, frankly, is AWESOME. What is not awesome about the week leading up to vacation? Getting ready to go on vacation. I'm a list maker when it comes to making sure that we have what we need. I can't grocery shop without a list and I wouldn't dream of packing without one either. Not just clothes and underwear and socks and sunscreen and stuffed friends for sleeping. A laundry schedule, shopping list (what will we eat with no leftovers, what will be take, what will we want to have the night we get home), acceptable restaurants and activities at our destination. I think I must be super-fun to live with this week.

Don't be jealous of my fabulous life.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Say a little prayer for me

So the seven-year old went to a church music camp this morning (he loved it!) and one of the activities was a craft. He made a prayer cup on which the kids were to write the name of someone who was mean to them, so the kids could pray for the "meanie". Um, okay. I guess I can get behind praying for our enemies. But what name did my son put down as his person for whom to pray? His three-year old sister, 'natch.

Don't be jealous of my fabulous life.